Stress Management During the Holidays

Stress Management During the Holidays

By Tara Brock

The holidays are a special time but can also be a stressful time for everyone. To preserve your sanity and your health, use these, tips to make the holiday season more enjoyable.

• Set priorities and stick to them

With so much going on, it’s hard to limit yourself. One thing you can do is set priorities for yourself. When you do this, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to pick and choose what’s most important to you.

At the beginning of the holiday season—or preferably before all the madness begins—sit down and create a list of priorities. Start by making a list of all the things you typically do during the holiday season. Then, start to cross off the things that are less important. Be honest with yourself. What’s truly important to you?

Maybe you go to that office party each year because you feel obligated to. But in reality, you aren’t really close with anyone at your office, and you don’t enjoy being there. Or maybe there’s a tradition your family has that isn’t as important to you as it used to be.

What’s important is that you figure out what’s important to you and your family. You don’t have to do what you’ve always done or what everyone else is doing this holiday season.

Staying happy and less stressed is worth more than doing this or that to please someone else. Once you determine what your priorities are, keep them safe. Try your best to abide by them. Maybe ask your spouse to stick with you on those priorities so you don’t slip up by all the obligations that could come up.

• Set realistic expectations

It’s hard to be realistic about what you can accomplish during the holiday season when you’re surrounded by picture-perfect celebrations. You might see your friends, neighbors, and co-workers doing it all. They might be posting on social media about the amazing gifts they’ve bought for their kids or the big parties they’re throwing.

It’s hard when we live in a world where we feel like we constantly must be doing the biggest and best things. In reality, you should do what’s best for you and your family.

Work on accepting that there are certain traditions you can keep and others you might have to let go of because they are simply too much to handle. You could even create new traditions that are easier for you to manage.

It’s okay to admit that you need to slow down this holiday season or that you can’t make it to every event. If you typically go to a relative’s house for a whole week, try going for just three days so you can have more downtime at home. Instead of cooking a huge meal for all of your friends at your annual gathering, order catering or have each guest bring a dish or dessert.

When you accept that not everything has to be flawless, you can enjoy the holidays more and feel less stressed about everything there is for you to do. Focus on what matters to you and your family and not what you see everyone else doing.

If you think about it, your friend who is hosting that large gathering is probably stressed out too. Make a choice to escape from that stress this year.

• Make time for yourself

In this season of giving and quality time, it’s hard to step away from it all and enjoy some quiet time. It’s essential to do this though. You must find ways to slow down, no matter how busy life may be. When you make time for yourself, you’re able to recharge and focus on what makes you feel better.

This alone time will look different for each person. Think about what helps you to feel energized. What makes you feel less stressed? What helps you to feel your best?

When you take this time to recharge, you will probably be in a better mood and be able to take on each day with a healthier outlook. You will feel calmer and like you can truly enjoy this special time with your loved ones.

Here are a few ideas to get you started, but do whatever works for you:

• Enjoy a cup of tea while you read each morning or evening.
• Go on a walk.
• Spend time journaling each day.
• Do something creative, like drawing or making music.
• Enjoy a bath or shower.
• Give yourself a spa day.
• Take a nap.
• Set daily affirmations.

It can be difficult to fit in self-care when you have so much going on in your life. To help, consider finding an accountability partner, such as your spouse or friend. Chances are, the other people in your life could use a reminder to take care of themselves too.

• Stick to your healthy-eating habits

What we eat plays a big role in how we feel. You may notice that you feel better inside and out when you nourish your body instead of filling up on processed and sugary foods.

During the holiday season, it’s easy to overindulge. When you’re at a party, it’s easy to grab a cookie, and it turns into five cookies (or more). When this happens, you might be feeling guilty or stressed about all the cookies you ate. This only adds to the overall feeling of overwhelm that you’re experiencing.

Of course, it’s unrealistic to totally avoid all the holiday treats. This is especially true if you only get to enjoy them during this time of the year. Maybe your great aunt bakes the most amazing pie for the holidays, and you only get it once a year.

Mindset can help you approach the season so you can enjoy it without the added stress and guilt. To make sure you don’t go overboard, consider setting a clear boundary for yourself.

Will you only eat one treat at each party instead of sampling the entire dessert table?

Will you eat a nutritious meal before you go so you will be full of healthy foods and eat fewer sweets?

• Say no when you can

This is easier said than done, but it’s important. You’re going to have to turn some people down throughout the holiday season, and that’s okay.

You can’t possibly do it all. Think of all the invitations you receive during the holiday season. If you say yes to all of them, you’re going to be stretching yourself far too thin. That’s where the stress and overwhelm start.

As the invites start rolling in, choose the ones that are most important to you. Set a limit for yourself so you don’t overdo it. It can be hard to pick which events to go to and which to skip, especially if you have a great circle of friends and don’t want to miss out. You might choose to go to a friend’s party if you don’t see them often. Maybe two friends in your circle are both hosting a party, so you go to just one because the same people will be at both.

Another option is to host a party yourself and invite all your closest friends. You will still get to spend time with them, but you won’t have to go to a dozen different parties. Just know that planning and hosting a party can be stressful itself, so choose what’s less anxiety-inducing for you.

• Create new, relaxing traditions

Not every day over the holidays must be spent doing something big. If you are constantly on the go throughout the holiday season, it’s important to find some slower things to do. This might mean that you need to create a few new traditions for you and your family to enjoy. Also, you don’t have to scrap all your big holiday plans. Just try to throw a few more relaxing ones into the mix.

Keep it simple. One idea is to have a holiday movie night. If you only include your immediate family, you don’t have to worry about baking cookies for all the neighbor kids and cleaning up for hours before hand. You could also take the whole family on a drive to see the holiday lights and decorations in your neighborhood.

One of my favorite traditions when my children were young was reading children’s Christmas books I had collected over the years. At the beginning of the season, we would pull them out, wrap them together, (this is a great way for young children to practice their wrapping skills) and put them in a holiday basket. Each evening, the kids would choose a book to unwrap, and we would read the story. Since the books had been stored away with the Christmas decorations all year, the kids enjoyed getting to read them again, and it also let them unwrap a present each night which they loved!

If you don’t have small children, (although my college-age kids still love the nostalgia of me reading the children’s books aloud to them) you might find a holiday-themed book you’d enjoy reading by the fireplace each night. Curl up in your pajamas with a cup of tea and a blanket while you relax and read.

If baking is relaxing for you, find a new recipe to try. Or you could make your own decorations by drying oranges or stringing popcorn. Decorating gingerbread houses with the family is another fun idea.

Wrapping gifts is another opportunity to slow down. Shopping for gifts can be hectic but wrapping can be relaxing. Spend time finding nice paper, ribbon, and gift tags. Put on a Christmas movie or some holiday tunes and enjoy the experience. If you don’t enjoy wrapping gifts, use gift bags and be done with it! Do what works best for you.

Whatever you choose to do, try to be present and fully enjoy it. Use these slower activities to relax and slow down amid all of the stress.

• Ask for help

If you’re someone who typically does everything on your own, know that it doesn’t have to be that way. This holiday season, encourage yourself to get help with all the tasks you have to complete. There are a few ways you can do this.

For one, you might ask your family members to pitch in and help. Your kids are probably capable of doing some of the chores. Your spouse can buy some of the gifts. Your kids might enjoy helping to wrap gifts for their siblings, grandparents, or cousins. Let go of perfectionism and enjoy this time together. By delegating some of the tasks, you will have less on your plate and be able to enjoy the holiday season even more. One particularly hectic year, I found myself a few days before Christmas with gifts bought but nothing wrapped. Out of desperation, I put all the gifts into boxes, taped them shut, and labeled them with the name of the intended recipient. Then I piled them in the living room, got out all the wrapping supplies, turned on Christmas music, and invited my husband and the kids to a wrapping party. It turned out to be a lot of fun, and I even took pictures of the chaos. We enjoyed it so much, it became a tradition, and I no longer pressure myself to wrap all the gifts alone.

Look at your to-do list for things you can outsource. For example, you might have your groceries delivered so you can avoid the chaos of the grocery store. This will save time and mental energy. Or you could hire someone to clean your home right before the holiday party, so you don’t have to worry about that. Hiring a caterer for an event can be helpful too.

• Stay active

Take a moment and think about how you feel after a good yoga session or a run through the park. You probably feel all those good endorphins. You might feel lighter or happier. It can be difficult to keep up with your exercise habits during the holiday season. In addition to the chilly weather holding you back, you might not feel like you have the time to squeeze in a workout.

It’s important to stay active though. Exercise is a good way for you to get some alone time to recharge. It also helps you to relieve your stress. It can give you a nice mood boost too, which can help when you are feeling worn out and overwhelmed. This will allow you to better enjoy the holidays.

Even raking leaves can be a good workout. If you have kids home for the holidays and are having trouble fitting in a workout, get the whole family involved. Staying active is important, but you don’t have to do the same workouts you always do. Your family might enjoy going ice skating or going on a family walk, run, or bike ride.

There are also fun runs and races during the holidays. You could get your whole family involved in one of these events. Doing it alone is a good way to hold yourself accountable too, because you will want to train in advance.

Even if your workouts look a little bit different, it’s important to stay active, even during the busiest times of the year.

• Stay away from social media

During the holidays, it’s a good time to focus on being truly present with your loved ones. With so much going on, it’s hard to step away and spend time with those we truly care about. It’s an important part of the holiday season though. There might be family members we don’t get to see often, or maybe our kids are home from school, and we want to cherish that time with them.

To do this, it’s important to step away from the distractions. One major distraction for many people is social media. If you use social media frequently, you might find that it gets in the way of your relationships. You could take a month-long hiatus from social media or limit the amount of time you spend on social media. You don’t have to delete your account, simply removing the app from your phone can free up a lot of time you usually spend mindlessly scrolling through social media. Use that time to do all the extra items on your to do list.

Another perk of quitting social media during the holidays is that you will be able to stop comparing yourself and your celebration to those around you. You might feel as if everyone is doing something bigger and better than you are. In reality, we’re all doing our best, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. When you stop looking at everyone else’s lives, it’s easier to enjoy yours and the good that you have.

Tara Brock is a certified holistic health and wellness coach.